Lets Turn Back Time?

I want to rewind my days, erase these memories of grief.

I want to remember what it feels like to hold your body, the echo is gone now.

I want to hear your voice, your laughter and your giggles, and not have to rely on videos that aren’t long enough now…

I want to remember the sleepless nights, the tired and fuzzy brain, to have you smile it all away for me.

I don’t remember much anymore…as I watch you on video I recall memories which are lost.

This all breaks me heart anew.

Someone has told me that it’s good to look at pictures, watch the videos and even watch the memorial video. Is it? I don’t know…

Again, I think I’m okay, yet the pain can still be so piercing and raw within moments.

People want to fix me, and I want to BE fixed. I’m so tired…so wary…