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October- I don’t miss the irony.

October 2, 2010

October is SIDS, stillbirth, miscarriage awareness month.   The irony is not lost on me.

I think about all the efforts being done to remember those we’ve lost and it just brings sadness to my heart. So many empty arms, aching hearts and questions being asked.   If I could will these people to turn to God for comfort, I would.  So many are hurting, even after years and years of living with the loss no one should suffer. In no way am I not hurting still, but I turn to God for comfort, knowing he’ll provide it. Why would he want me to suffer forever? That isn’t his plan for me. That isn’t his plan for you, dear one.

I wish I could hold all the ones hurting and give some comfort and offer the one who gives better comfort than I ever could. I have had a heart for those who hurt for a long time, since before Michael’s death. Now, it’s just been focused in a direction I didn’t even think to think of.

With so much pain in this world, I know many believe there is not reason to live.  I know that many think there is no loving God, if there were we wouldn’t have pain like we do nor evil.  Oh, but we DO have a God who loves, yes and is just as well. Giving us free will to choose him, or not too.  People don’t tell you that either way, there is a conscience of our sinful lives, our human nature to deal with.  Left to our own devices, we’re not going to be Christ like. We’ll be selfish and it entails.

I guess I’m rambling now…but October. October is a month of many ranging emotions for me and mine.  I claim it for God though. Nothing will take this special month from us, nor can I use it to dishonor the God who loves me, or the memory of His greatest gift to us.

This month…make an effort to do something to recognize the special ones in your life.  An extra kiss, a longer hug, a favorite meal, a favorite movie. Don’t forget the littlest nor the oldest among you either.  Being thankful and practicing the act of thankfulness opens your heart to more love and hope than you might think.

I do this in memory of Michael and what God’s done and will do for me. Find your own reason to remember and say thanks in many ways. It’s my birthday wish for all of you too do for me.  Thank you.

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