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Am I blessed?

September 4, 2010
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God says that I am, Matthew wrote that I am. (Matt 5:4)

So how do I believe it, when the depth of hurt is so raw?  When all I hear in my mind, is my own self crying out, searching for some comfort. I have been searching for comfort, seeking it with every breath I have taken.  I was too blind to see that God has been there, waiting.  He has been there since before this earth was created (Ephesians 1:4-5), waiting to heal me and waiting to love me.

Even in His good and perfect will for my life, I am not guaranteed to have a 100% joyous life.  Nothing is written that says I will enjoy happiness for all my days on earth.  Not one word that supports that idea.  BUT! There are too many to count, that give me reason to hope, reason to KNOW, that in the darkest hours, my lowest days, I have a Healer, a Comforter who walks with me, holds me up, and wipes away my sorrows.

Today, I prayed for peace, truly prayed for peace.  Today, I asked for for His help to accept His will for my life.  Today, I saw that my days of grieving are numbered, and He knows that number. I will not always grieve, and I have hope to see my son again, I have hope that God will fill my life with joy again.

Lord, give me the strength to get through today.  Give me a moment of peace, a moment removed from grief. You have promised to give me rest, to heal my hurts and fill me with Your peace.  I am waiting. I have faith that You will hold your promises true. I have hope, because You are more faithful and true to Your word than I deserve You to be.

I wait for You, eagerly looking, sure in my hope.

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