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Troubled Me

July 8, 2010

Oh what a troubled walk I walk, taken from innocence into raging knowledge, most violently.

Given nothing in return for the Great Loss.

What a troubled path this is, that finds my feet so soft and pure, each step now red with blood and pain.

No quarter given to a soul so heavy.

What a troubled journey afore me, that I might face this worst fear of motherhood, dripping silently my wounds you do not see.

No possible relief is in sight, no land to take me away from this turbulent sea.

A troubled entrapment hold me captive, no way to look past that which is feared, waiting for a freedom that doesn’t come.

Oh Trouble why have you found me so easy?

Oh troubled me,  what do you seek that you can’t find? Does the bleeding soul see salvation in silence and surrender?

What comes from trouble but more of the same, a gift of painful knowledge and gleeful shame.

Oh terrible trouble, why must you mock me so? Am I not where you wanted me to go?

Grief and trouble, you have found me. I cannot hide my face from you, the 2 sided attack you have won.

I am wary of your battle waged, can we not just call it done, and you the victor?

Why must you beat at me with the sharp edged fire-hot iron? I do not need the reminder of what is lost and cannot be found.

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