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Goodbye Michael, my sweet son

March 18, 2010

With broken heart, and numb mind, I miss you my sweet son. I miss your smiles in the morning. I miss the time we had together. The way you loved to stand on your own. I can’t believe that you are truly gone from my life. And my arms. Nothing prepares you for this feeling of total and complete devastation. I didn’t know my heart could break so much.

I miss you sweet sounds, both your indoor and outdoor ones…

I just want you back in my arms forever. I can’t breathe without thinking of you. Smelling you…

Remember you

I don’t want to breathe without you

I just want this all to be a VERY bad dream, which I awaken from to your instant cries.

You look so helpless on that hospital gurney…with tubes and wires running here and there…trying vainly to bring you back to us. I know you’re already gone…but I didn’t want it to be so. A mother is NOT supposed to bury her son…

I love you more than words can say…

My eyes are nearly swollen shut now…

My heart is forever broken…never to be the same

My arms are so empty without you, Michael.

Lord, please let this be just a nightmare.

I can still hear your sweet breathe, your little sounds you make when your excited or mad.

That killer smile and you were getting a dimple too…

Will I ever stop crying?

Will I ever be whole again?

Will I ever stop hurting this much?

Oh Michael…why did you have to leave us so soon? We weren’t ready to say goodbye to you. We had so many things to show you, and share with you.

Rest in Gods arms my little one. I will see you again, and hold you again.

Help me to say goodbye…

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