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I weight HOW much?!

February 25, 2010

Yeah, so I weighed myself this morning, and almost cried!

Let me start by saying that I have struggled with my weight from puberty. I’ve always been the bigger girlfriend, the biggest one in any number of groups I was in growing up. Sometimes it bothered me, sometimes it didn’t. Just really depended on who I was hanging out with at the time.

Fast forward to when I first arrived to Arizona. I was single, happy being myself, with myself. I went hiking a lot, walking trails I’ve never been on, eat healthy food. Cooked meals to take to work, etc. Stayed active at home, by cleaning house and doing my chores before sitting down to the computer. My little cabin was neat, well as neat as it could be with NO storage space! LOL

I was able to lose about 40lbs while being here…

Then…

I had my son…

I only gained 17lbs during my pregnancy, before I had to be hospitalized.

I lost all of that before leaving the hospital, which is GREAT!

However…

The scale is mocking me…

It’s rubbing my nose in my past efforts…

It keeps going UP, not d
o
w
n!!!!!

The scale this morning, told me I weighed 261lbs!!!
When I got here to AZ I was 270lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My gosh, are you kidding me?! This is insanely wrong for me!

I am ashamed, upset and totally disgusted with myself for not caring for my body!

This is a new day, I NEED to get healthy, not only for myself, but for my son and husband. I have this feeling that my son will be very active, and I’d like to be active with him, and not just sit, because I can’t run, or walk without huffing and puffing his little house down!

I’d like to make myself proud of my hard work…
To be healthy and to pass those good habits down to my son…
Instead of showing him a sedentary life, I’d LOVE to show him an active life, full of adventure, activity and places!

This is my wake up call…

…This is my time to fix my habits, to change them to something I can be P R O U D of!

May the Lord above HELP me, please!

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